ToS Christmas Carols
by Paopu Pop
Summary: It's time for some ToS singalongs! Drive your friends crazy with messed up carols about a video game! RATING RAISED FOR VIOLENCE.
1. The Twelve Items of Christmas

**Genki: WHOOHOO! Fear the Christmas Carols!!!!! XD  
****Lloyd: You seem awfully chipper.  
****Genki: Yeah, yeah... Anyway, I was writing my one Christmas fic when Genis was singing a Christmas Carol I twisted, and I thought, "CHRISTMAS CAROLS?! WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!" Or something like that anyway.**

**So, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything someone else owns.**

_**Tales of Symphonia Christmas Carols**_

_The Twelve Items of Christmas, sung by Genis Sage_

_(The Twelve Days of Christmas)_

On the first day of Christmas,  
My buddeh gave to me!  
A name for the Giant Kharlan Tree!

On the second day of Christmas,  
My buddeh gave to me!  
Two Twin-swords!  
And a name for the Giant Kharlan Tree!

On the third day of Christmas,  
My buddeh gave to me!  
Three giant axes,  
Two Twin-swords!  
And a name for the Giant Kharlan Tree!

On the fourth day of Christmas,  
My buddeh gave to me!  
Four sandwiches,  
Three giant axes,  
Two Twin-swords!  
And a name for the Giant Kharlan Tree!

On the fifth day of Christmas,  
My buddeh gave to me!  
_Five... Golden Chakrams!  
_Four sandwiches,  
Three giant axes,  
Two Twin-swords!  
And a name for the Giant Kharlan Tree!

On the sixth day of Christmas,  
My buddeh gave to me!  
Six Palma Potions!  
_Five... Golden Chakrams!  
_Four sandwiches,  
Three giant axes,  
Two Twin-swords!  
And a name for the Giant Kharlan Tree!

On the seventh day of Christmas,  
My buddeh gave to me!  
Seven Super Staves!  
Six Palma Potions!  
_Five... Golden Chakrams!  
_Four sandwiches,  
Three giant axes,  
Two Twin-swords!  
And a name for the Giant Kharlan Tree!

On the eighth day of Christmas,  
My buddeh gave to me!  
Eight Apple Gels!  
Seven Super Staves!  
Six Palma Potions!  
_Five... Golden Chakrams!  
_Four sandwiches,  
Three giant axes,  
Two Twin-swords!  
And a name for the Giant Kharlan Tree!

On the ninth day of Christmas,  
My buddeh gave to me!  
Nine magic lenses!  
Eight Apple Gels!  
Seven Super Staves!  
Six Palma Potions!  
_Five... Golden Chakrams!  
_Four sandwiches,  
Three giant axes,  
Two Twin-swords!  
And a name for the Giant Kharlan Tree!

On the tenth day of Christmas,  
My buddeh gave to me!  
Ten life bottles!  
Nine magic lenses!  
Eight Apple Gels!  
Seven Super Staves!  
Six Palma Potions!  
_Five... Golden Chakrams!  
_Four sandwiches,  
Three giant axes,  
Two Twin-swords!  
And a name for the Giant Kharlan Tree!

On the eleventh day of Christmas,  
My buddeh gave to me!  
Eleven Elven swords!  
Ten life bottles!  
Nine magic lenses!  
Eight Apple Gels!  
Seven Super Staves!  
Six Palma Potions!  
_Five... Golden Chakrams!  
_Four sandwiches,  
Three giant axes,  
Two Twin-swords!  
And a name for the Giant Kharlan Tree!

On the twelth day of Christmas,  
My buddeh gave to me!  
Twelve toy Kendamas!  
Eleven Elven swords!  
Ten life bottles!  
Nine magic lenses!  
Eight Apple Gels!  
Seven Super Staves!  
Six Palma Potions!  
_Five... Golden Chakrams!  
_Four sandwiches,  
Three giant axes,  
Two Twin-swords!  
And a name for the Giant Kharlan Tree!

**Genki: Thank you, Genis!  
****Genis: No problem. Now, no turning me into a fairy?  
****Genki: No fairyness for you until after Christmas.  
****Genis: Deal.  
****::both shake hands::  
****Genki: If you want more Christmas parodies, please review!!**


	2. Oh Giant Tree

**A/N: Next carol!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything somebody else owns.**

_**Tales of Symphonia Christmas Carols**_

_Oh Giant Tree, sung by Colette Brunel  
__(Oh Christmas Tree)_

Oh Giant Tree, oh Giant Tree!  
How giant are your branches?  
Oh Giant Tree, oh Giant Tree!  
How giant are your branches?  
I tried to climb up you to see  
But I fell and broke my knee  
Oh Giant Tree, oh Giant Tree!  
I hate you 'cause you broke my knee!

**Colette: My knee!! ::whimpers::  
****Zelos: I'll heal you hunny!  
****Lloyd: ::kicks Zelos out of the way:: Yeah, RIGHT!  
****Zelos: No! Ouch... Mr. Boot hurts... T-T  
****Kratos: Here. ::heals::  
****Colette: Thank you Kratos! ::glomp::  
****Kratos: o.o;  
****Genki: Hurrah! Grasshopper Man saved the day!!  
****Kratos: I AM NOT A GRASSHOPPER!!!  
****Genki: But you remind me of a grasshopper because of the game graphics. A _purple _grasshopper!! I wanna write a song _so _badly about you being a grasshopper!!  
****Colette: You should!  
****Kratos: � . . .**


	3. Ack! The Cruxis Angels Cry

**A/N: I fixed the funny formatting!! n.n Yey! Enjoy somemore carols... _I demand you!!_**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything someone else owns.**

_**Tales of Symphonia Christmas Carols**_

_Ack! The Cruxis Angels Cry, sung by Kratos Aurion  
__(Hark! The Herald Angels Sing)_

Ack! The Cruxis Angels cry  
When they are about to die  
Battles rage and all are in pain  
Because they all have been slain  
Angry all ye soldiers rise  
Join the warfare from the skies  
With angelic loss they're dead  
Last one with a spear through his head

Ack! The Cruxis Angels cry  
When they are about to die

**Kratos: But aren't they all dead? So how can they cry when they're about to die?  
****Genki: It's just repeating the first two lines!!  
****Kratos: Okay?... You should be getting ready for your concert anyway.  
****Genki: Dang those choir robes!! XP And my shirt for band doesn't fit really well... T-T I should've gotten a new one.  
****Kratos: Hm. Irresponsible girl. You're supposed to be there in an hour.  
****Genki: Meep! Really? O.O;; OOPS! I've barely eaten and I'm not changed into my band clothes! My mom and sister get to go to the Fulton 'cause they bought tickets for the same date by accident. T-T Lucky ducks... Well, I guess _Sussical the Musical _isn't that bad to miss... I got to go there to see _The Secret Garden _for a field trip this year anyhow. . . . I really should get ready instead of ranting anyway.  
Note: These author notes were written on Sunday.**


	4. Violent Fight

**A/N: My Christmas Carols are apparently liked!! n.n**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything someone else owns.**

_**Tales of Symphonia Christmas Carols**_

_Violent Fight, sung by Lloyd Irving  
__(Silent Night)_

Violent fight  
Bloody fight  
All is chaos  
What a sight!  
Round the sword goes  
To its head  
Now decapita-  
ted its dead  
Go to hell you big beast  
Go to hell you big beast

**A/N: It's only one verse, I know. But the battle's over anyway. o.o; The seventh and eighth lines are in the same phrase, but I wrote it as two seperate lines so you can follow along and sing!**


	5. Zelos the RedHead Chosen

**A/N: I know that this carol may not make so much sense... but, hey! I'll give you a conclusion of meanings at the end. e.e;**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything someone else owns.**

_**Tales of Symphonia Christmas Carols**_

_Zelos the Red-Head Chosen, sung by Sheena Fujibayashi __(Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)_

Zelos the red-head Chosen (Chosen)  
Had very bright red hair (Ah, my eyes!)  
And if you ever saw it (saw it)  
You would say it's up in flares (omigawd, put-it-out!)

All of the schoolchildren (children)  
Used to laugh and call him names (like Tomato Head!)  
They never let poor Zelos (Zelos)  
Play in any playground games (like torturing kindergartners!)

Then one boring school day  
Edwin came to say (with his stinky breath)  
"Zelos, forget your stupid hair.  
Put some glue on the teacher's chair!"

Then all his classmates loved him (loved him)  
As they shouted out with glee (funny!)  
"Zelos, the red-head Chosen (Chosen)  
You'll go down in history!" (Who's George Washington?)

**A/N: Okay, I guess I should explain some. On the fourth line of the first verse, the echo part is meant to be said really fast. The (like torturing kindergartners) line is also said really fast. The third verse is that the kids were bored, so some kid named Edwin told Zelos to put glue on the chair for their amusement, forgetting the fact that they made fun of him for his hair. (Hey, Rudolph got made fun for his NOSE, didn't he? That's almost as stupid. Enough though he put his nose to use... well, whatever.) The last echo is just because George Washington doesn't exist in Tales of Symphonia. XD Besides, the kids who heard it from me never played ToS, and still laughed.**

**Thanks to Toboe-san for ideas for _Violent Fight _and _Zelos the Red-head Chosen! _Anymore ideas are welcome! n.n**

**I'm trying to think of something for another reviewer's suggestion for Deck the Halls. e.e; (Note the last two carols were made during Health class x.x;)**


	6. Deck The Halls

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything someone else owns.**

_**Tales of Symphonia Christmas Carols**_

_Deck the Halls sung by Regal Bryant_

Deck the halls with blood and gore...  
Falalalala lalalala  
Shove your victims in and lock the door...  
Falalalala lalalala  
Gack their mouths shut with some cloth  
Falalalala lalalala  
Make them watch Barney all year long!  
Falalalala lalalala!!

**A/N: Thanks to Cerse Liminara for the help! .o.o. Now don't kill me!! ::cower::**


	7. Stupid Lloyd

**A/N: Bah, I know Christmas is over. . . but, I thought I'd post this last one I wrote anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything someone else owns.**

_**Tales of Symphonia Christmas Carols**_

_Stupid Lloyd sung by Genis Sage (again)  
(Jingle Bells)_

Flying through the sky  
On four stolen Rheairds  
Making Lloyd shut-up  
'cause he's acting like a retard!  
Blabbing on about things  
That don't make any sense  
Lloyd, I've got to hand it to you  
You are really dense!

O, stupid Lloyd, stupid Lloyd  
What the heck is that?  
Why are you serving tea  
To a sewer rat?

Stupid Lloyd, stupid Lloyd  
Why are you so dumb?  
I might catch your stupid  
So I'd think I'd better run!

**A/N: Um, just to note, the last verse is the second time through the chorus. o.o;**

**I hope you guys all had a great Christmas! n.n**


	8. Away on Symphonia

**A/N: Man, it's Dec 9, and I haven't written AAAAAANY carols! Of course, I used all my good ones last year. .o.o.  
Lloyd: ¬¬ Gahh... she's at it again!  
Genki: Bah, shut-up.**

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING. Bwah.

* * *

**_**Tales of Symphonia Christmas Carols**_

_Away on Symphonia sung by Yuan... I can't read this last name..._

Away on Symphonia  
No room for half-elves  
The immortal Yggdrassil  
Takes over the world  
Angels in the sky  
Looked down to slay  
The immortal Yggdrassil  
Laughing away

* * *

**A/N: I don't know... that was pretty bad. x.oMaybe I'll go back and edit a second verse in, but I only know the first one.**

**Anyway, please review. Send me suggestions of new carols and maybe even a line or two I can use. I'm quite dry, I used up most of them LAST YEAR... I haven't used "Joy of the World" yet, so that might be next...**


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